Things Don't Always Stay the Same

I can hear my mother saying this to me as if she were still alive. That's just how powerful these words are, at least to me. They can be powerful for you as well if you truly focus on what it is these words are saying to you.

A couple of days ago, I was speaking to a classroom of students discussing my F.O.C.U.S. principles and I, somehow, go on this subject. Many of us have probably, at one time or another, gone through something terrible in our lives. Heaven knows, I have. So I shared with the class a few personal "things" that occurred in my life that were not so positive. I won't share them in this forum, but my point to them was that those "things" are now gone.

Sure, there will be some residual effects of what has happened but the situation has changed. Furthermore, it is in the past. Remember a few months ago we had gas prices at $4.00/gallon (and higher in some places) and people were losing their minds almost.

Fast forward - are they still the same?

What we must realize is that even those things we have no control over don't always stay the same. So why do we panic when "things" happen? Because we do not trust that they won't stay the same; or maybe it is that we, deep down inside, want something to complain about or to have self-pity. Guess what? That won't change nothing.

Sometimes we will just have to ride it out or if it is within our control - create the change you desire. Many times "things" will take care of themselves. From my experience, I have found this to be the case. Eventually all that "stuff" will be behind you.

How many of you have quoted the 'Serenity Prayer'? You might even have it up on your mantel, wall or in your office. Well, you probably only have part of it - the most familiar part that goes like this:

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference.

As the commercial says, "but wait, there's more":

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

Remember, it is a prayer. So the next time you experience "things" not going so well that "they don't always stay the same" and that the Serenity Prayer tells (and shows) us why.

3 Steps to Expecting Your Best

Do you ever find yourself getting stuck in negative thought patterns and expecting the worst possible outcome in every (or most) situation? It’s a common mindset that proves difficult to change when you finally decide you’ve had enough. Unfortunately, negative thoughts tend to breed and multiply on their own – even when you’re not consciously trying to think negatively.

The good news is that turning a negative outlook into a positive one just takes a bit of patience and persistence until the positive thoughts begin to take over.

Below you’ll find three simple steps to begin forming positive expectations on a daily basis:

1) Develop self-awareness to recognize negative expectations. One problem with negative thoughts is that they often form below your conscious level of awareness; and you get so used to them being in your head that you hardly notice them anymore. To turn the tide of negativity, you’ll have to develop a stronger level of self-awareness. One good way to start is by performing self-checks several times a day. Pay attention first to how you feel. If you’re feeling positive and productive, most likely you’ve been thinking positive thoughts.

However, if you notice that you’re feeling irritable, pessimistic or stressed, you’re probably focusing more on negative thoughts. When that happens…

2) Challenge and change the negative thoughts. Believe it or not, it’s fairly easy to challenge and change negative thoughts with a little willpower and concentration. For example, if you find yourself feeling doubtful about your ability to finish your work on time, you might engage in a bit of self-talk like this: “Okay, so I’m feeling a bit worried right now, but really everything is okay. I’m strong, I’m smart and I’m capable of finishing my work on time. I’ll do my best and everything will work out fine.” Even though nothing has changed in your outer circumstances, this type of self-talk can get you thinking and feeling more positive.

3) At the same time, while you’re changing negative thoughts to positive, work daily on developing a general positive expectation habit. Each day when you wake up, affirm confidently, “Today is going to be a great day! Everything will go my way and I’ll enjoy plenty of lucrative opportunities and fun!”

When you encounter obstacles or problems, see them as opportunities to learn, grow and strengthen yourself. Perception is 99% of the game! If you simply work on shifting the way you look at the experiences of your life, you can easily conquer your negative thought habits.

The more you focus on changing your perspective to emphasize the positive, you’ll empower yourself to create better circumstances in your life. Before you know it, you’ll be enjoying better and more frequent opportunities and attracting other like-minded, successful people to connect with.